Hours away from Vacation

I’m mere hours away from taking a little vacation to Las Vegas along with my wife, and my roommate. Tomorrow morning I will board a Virgin America flight (I’m much looking forward to trying them out), for Las Vegas.

I’ve got a lot of fun planned, including one last trip to the Star Trek Experience in the Las Vegas Hilton. In fact making a final voyage to the Experience was my primary reason for visiting Vegas this month. This will be my fourth Voyage there (blogged about before on my blog, I’ll edit this post with links to my old posts later), and I’m sad it will be my last, but unfortunately the Experience will be Closing on September 1st permanently, so I had to make one last trip. This will be Mike’s first trip to the future, and he’s eager to see what he has only heard about.

But this trip won’t be all Star Trek, on Thursday Night, Barbara and I will be seeing Mamma Mia. We’ve seen the movie and are both looking forward to seeing the play as well. On Friday Night we will be going Medievil, and enjoying the Tournament of Kings at the Excalibur, another great treat.

In addition to all that planned fun, we are also going to get to see my parents, who are in Vegas right now, and our vacation plans are thankfully overlapping enough that we can see each other.

I’m looking forward to a very enjoyable trip.

Riding on air

I’m not sure why I’ve never done this before, but I’m writing this blog entry from the air, literally. Barbara and I are on our way to Texas to attend my brother’s wedding. David is getting married on Saturday in Houston. We are on our way to my parent’s house in Arlington at the moment and will drive down with my parents on Friday.

We should be landing in about a half hour or so, after flying for a total of about 3 hours and 15 minutes, and I don’t have too much to say at the moment. I’m sure to post pictures of the wedding up soon.

Note, while I wrote this on the plane, obviously I had no way to post this from the air so I’ll hit the Publish button when I get to my parent’s house.

2006 – A Nick Oddity

Every New Years Eve I find myself counting down the seconds until the next year hoping in my heart that the next year is better then the last. This year however I found New Years Eve very odd, because I cannot possibly imagine 2007 being as amazing as 2006 was, and I don’t even want 2007 to be better then 2006, I just want it to be more of the same.

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Life Changes

My last blog post before this one was in August and things have definitely changed in the lives of Barbara and I since then. The biggest change (really the only change but it has effected so much of my life it’s really a category rather then an item) is that I got a new job. I now work as a programmer for Justia Inc. Justia is a company that, among other things, provides websites for lawyers and law firms. The company is based in Palo Alto, California (in Silicon Valley).

As such this change of a new job also means that we no longer live with my parents in Texas but are now Californians. We have a small, one bedroom apartment in Mountain View, California a few minutes drive from the Googleplex.

Those of you who know us best most likely know this by now, but I felt it was important to update my blog and let people know about these changes. Yesterday (December 18th) marked the 2 month (October 18th) anniversary of the day we moved into our new home here in California.

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A Wedding

Friday the 5th of May was a very busy day. It began by driving my girlfriend to the airport so she could go home. She had to take a very early flight in order to make it home because later flights were filling up fast. I then went from the airport directly to work where I worked a long and full day. From the office I had to drive home as quickly as possible because I had to throw my stuff into my bag to go with the family back to the airport to fly to Illinois so that we could drive up to Wisconsin on Saturday to attend my sister’s wedding.

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Disapproval all around

Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m completely unwanted. My parents aren’t proud of me (and why should they be, I’m unemployed and living at home, how pathetic), and though I’m sending out resumes and job applications by the stack, I have yet to get much of any response from them.

I hate the feeling of rejection, well of course I do, everyone hates rejection, but rejection has always been something I have struggled with. Also feelings of failure. In case you are wondering why I haven’t posted any blog entries in the last week and a half, well besides the fact that I’ve been very busy, I just don’t feel that anything I’m doing is worth a blog entry.

Meaningless, everything is meaningless. I have no job, I have no purpose, it’s all just meaningless.

Birthday Shopping and Play watching

::in best news voice:: And this is Nick Moline with the weekend report ::end news voice::

Yesterday was interesting, mom threw a Jewlery party at the house so I sought the first excuse I could to get out of there, and that excuse ended up being helping my dad (who was also trying to escape the women buying jewlery) pick out my little brother’s birthday present (his birthday is this coming Friday), on the off chance that he reads this or that one of his friends reads this and passes it on to him, I won’t say anything further about gift shopping.

So I took a seperate car then my dad so we took a slightly longer then normal time shopping for the gift then Dad went back to the party and I snuck off to the movies. On the risk of embarassing myself I will tell you what movie I went and saw, Freaky Friday. Newsflash all, it’s good, no really it is!

Yes it’s a 3rd version of the same movie by the same movie studio (for those of you who don’t know, there was a made for TV movie version of Freaky Friday back in ’95 in addition to the 70’s original with Jodie Foster). I have to say this latest version with Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohen is very good, perhaps better then the original.

Lindsay is very convincing as both the Teen and the adult in the teen body, Jamie is also convincing in both her roles and plays a hillarious teen trapped in a woman’s body, however although it is a convincing teen, it’s not very convincing that it is Anna (Lindsay’s character at the beginning of the movie) trapped in Tess’s body rather then some other teen, Lindsay is a bit more mellow in general then the “child version” of Curtis, but it was still hillarious, the only problem with the movie is I think they went over the top in Anna’s love interest in the movie falling for Anna stuck in Tess’s body, yes I know the point was to show that he liked Anna for her mind not her body, but yuck, it went a bit too far when he was singing “Hit Me Baby One More Time” outside Tess’ window, talk about freaky.

Anyway after the party one of mom’s friends was still hanging around the house for several hours, but one is managable, 10 is not.

On to today…

I got up early to go to church, Mr. E the head of the audio visual team had told me earlier that I would be put in a rotational schedule and not be needed every week but he hadn’t yet told me what that schedule was so I decided to come anyway just in case it was my week, turns out it was not, next week is. So I still went to both services anyway, was actually kinda cool, in the first service I was asked to help collect the offering for the first time in the 4 and a half years I’ve gone to this church. In the 2nd service I sat with my family for the first time in a long time, well most of my family, David sat with the youth group, but it was nice to sit with my parents for once.

After church and a brief lunch the four of us went to see a play at Theater Arlington, that was fun, it is the second time I’ve been there, the first time was for a presentation of It’s a Wonderful Life back in December, today’s presentation was called Communicating Doors and dealt with time travel, it was quite good, I won’t discuss the plot here cause it would take too long, but I found it quite interesting and entertaining, a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

Overall it was a nice weekend, but in the morning it is back to the grindstone, how fun! TTFN!

Desperation of having to go back to TX

Well my depression that has been setting in deeper and deeper for months now hit a new low this morning at about 3 a.m. The final confirmation that we are closing down the office came from the boss. I’m jobless and am going to have to move back in with my family. Furthermore I’m going to end up going into debt to my old boss to be able to afford to do this. I really don’t want to work for him on a long term basis again but I’m feeling as if I may have no choice.

I sent my resume to one company yesterday, got the response back that they have no openings available but will keep me in mind when openings do come up. I’m going to send it off to another company today, anything to avoid working for Metrotime again. I can handle working for Metrotime for a few weeks or even a month or two, but I don’t want to get myself locked into it, I was not treated properly there and the sad thing is my boss didn’t even realize how poorly he was treating me. He seemed to think he was doing me a favor and that he was incredibly kind to me. He does have a kind atitude most of the time, but it’s not all about atitude, it’s about respect. I didn’t get it there. I was asked to do rediculous tasks and I was never even offered an actual position, I was a consultant the entire 2 years I worked for him, which of course meant double taxes (self employment tax). He would continually say “I’m going to put you on regular insert time here“, but each time he would say that, the time would come, and the time would go, and then weeks later he would say again, “I’m going to put you on regular insert another time here.”

It’s not only that, I gave him my business outright and asked for only 2 things in return. I asked that #1) he pay me for my time when I had to work on the server, and #2) That he honor the agreements I had made with several of my customers. Well there were several instances where he would order me to continually work on the server until the task was completed and then when it came time to pay, would not pay me for anything after say 6 p.m. when I worked all night and into the next day to fix the problem that he would order me to do. I did not appreciate that one bit, but I kept my mouth shut. As for my customers, he would continually say things like “How come this person is only paying this much?” and I would answer “Cause that’s what we agreed upon” and he would say “Well he should be paying this much, I’m going to send him a letter.” That really pissed me off, I asked for only 2 things when I gave him my business with my customers and he wouldn’t keep to either one of them.

He didn’t even realize he was doing it, it drove me crazy, how could he not see what he was doing to me, how could he not see how much he hurt me all the time? And now he seems like my only hope for being able to afford to move my stuff back home. Talk about your tripple whamy.

  1. The one thing I have always wanted was to be independant, to be able to provide for myself, now after living that dream for only 6 months I have to move back home with my parents.
  2. The only way I can afford to do so is to get my old boss that I hated working for to front me the money necessary to rent the uHaul and pay for gas, lodging, and food for the trip home, thus putting me in his debt and requiring me to work for him again.
  3. On top of all this, I cannot help but feel the shame as if I am a complete failure for this project not working

Yeah I know the last one really doesn’t make sense, especially for those of you that know my situation. The problems of Western Carolina Wireless are not at all my fault, and I worked incredibly hard to circumvent those problems to no avail. But I’m a profectionist, when a project I’m working on fails, I cannot help but feel shame at failure. I hate defeat. I loathe it, but here it is, staring right at me. What am I to do?

One thing is certain, I have GOT to find a job with medical benefits so that I can see a doctor about what I believe to be clinical depression.